I recently had an opportunity to read Dan Brennan’s book, Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women. I’ll confess at the outset that I did not have high expectations for this book. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this work.
The forward from Dan’s wife, Sheila Wilson Brennan, explains that Dan Brennan is using this book to counter the myspace/facebook trend to call everyone a “friend.” She explains:
Daniel’s book attempts to recapture a deeper (and thereby narrower) understanding of friendship and a wider understanding of intimacy within spiritual friendship.
With this goal in mind, I think Brennan’s offering is well worth the read. If there is a target of critique in Brennan’s cross hairs, it is the absurd bipolar counsel that the conservative evangelical community offers to non-married men and women who wish to enter into relationship. Brennan points out that for many in this camp, there are only two alternatives. One is the romantic path that leads men and women down the one way path of becoming “one flesh”. This is acceptable for young, single people. However, if either one or both of the people are married then the only alternative for these male/female relationships is avoidance at all costs.
Brennan argues that between these two very narrow narratives of male/female relationships is a very wide, complex and necessary range of appropriate and deeply intimate expressions of genuine, deep, and faithful friendship that does not need to lead to anything sexually inappropriate.
Brennan explores these sacred unions by looking at history and scripture. While there are areas I felt like he was forcing the sacred text in order to make his case, overall I think the book raises some important questions for those in the conservative camp. While there is nothing in the book that would shock “emerging” or “progressive” Christian thinkers, I feel his book hits his intended target.
There were some great quotes throughout:
When conservative Christians adapt a modified Freudian view of sexuality and conflate the romantic myth with the meaning of one flesh, one wonders how Christian husbands and wives are able to pursue deep intimacy and become companions on the marital journey. Perhaps the greatest enemy of marriage when the notion of one flesh has been made synonymous with the romantic myth is the one flesh vision of marriage itself. (p. 43)
The husband-wife relationship doesn’t cover the range of embodied oneness in this age or the next. In fact, it is not even the ultimate picture of union. Paul Wadell suggests that friends in Christ “will have much greater intimacy and unity between them than they would if they lived together but were united over a lesser good.” he suggests, following Augustine, “the greatest possible intimacy comes not from physical closeness or even physical expression, but from belonging to the body of Christ.” Our union in Christ as men and women then, has profound implications for both married and unmarried individuals. (p. 79)
For more information about the book and a video interview with the author, please check the links below.
viralbloggers.com/2010/04/sacred-unions-sacred-passions-by-dan-brennan/




