I have not had time to post any thoughts about Brueggemann’s lecture, Journey to the Common Good, but it was outstanding. Brueggemann is a brilliant thinker and communicator. This article is a great example. It would have been enough just to hear his commentary on Proverbs 15:17 during the question and answers. But listening to him talk about the main themes of the Old Testament was even better. Certainly scratched where I itch. He touched on the ten commandments, which in many ways are central to my own ecclesial dreaming. If you would like to hear/see for yourself, you can order a DVD or CD here.
I envy those who are fortunate enough to study under Brueggemann. There I go, breaking number 10…
Last Thursday at around noon I had another episode of vertigo, and then it mysteriously went away and I did not have any all weekend. This morning I went in for some tests with an ENT to see if we could figure anything out. I had a full ear/hearing test and some positional tests to try and trigger the vertigo. Nothing.
Last year when I had vertigo it lasted for a total of about 4-5 weeks and then just disappeared much like it arrived–with no signs or warnings. I was beginning to suspect that maybe this go around was over, but then today at about 2:30 it hit again. I have been feeling slightly off balance most of the evening.
At the ENT this morning we found that my ears are working fine and nothing out of the ordinary with my inner ear. However, I do have some hearing loss in my right ear that could be related to the Vertigo. The ENT suspects that I could have some Vestibular nerve damage causing both. I will be getting an MRI and ENG tests over the next few weeks.
Most of the time this is simply frustrating and annoying. Occasionally it gets so bad that I get motion sickness and vomit. When it gets that bad all I can really do is lay down and try to get to sleep. Usually when I wake up I feel fine and go about business as usual until the symptoms crop up again.
My PCP thinks that the Vertigo is caused by MAV and that may be caused from Vestibular Neuritis or Labyrinthitis.
I will be glad to finally get to the bottom of all of this as there are more important things I would love to talk about and an excellent book I need to review.
I am in the process of migrating and upgrading three WordPress blogs. Things could be rocky here over the next few days…
Backups are done.
Now I am converting my manual installs to simplescript installs.
Then, will upgrade everything to the newest version and restore some files from my backups.
wish me well.
***UPDATE***
The convert of my two manual installs and one Fantastico install to the new Simple Script installs went fine.
There are still a few minor glitches with the upgrade process but I am not too worried about those. I will leave everything as is for now and research the upgrade process with Simple Script. All things being considered that was an easy migration (knocking on wood) and now all my wordpress stuff is converted to Simple Script installs. I suspect that soon this will make managing these sites much easier than it was in the past.
Today was a long day. I did get into the doctor and had a great visit. I will be going in next Monday for some further testing. Currently my doctor is thinking that my fight with vertigo is caused by vestibular migraines. There is some possibility that it could be something else but the tests I am going to get on Monday should narrow things down. Just having the tests scheduled feels like progress to me. What a difference a year makes. Last year, the doctor I saw did not seem to be too interested in my symptoms or doing any real diagnosis. My new doctor was much better and I feel pretty good about where we are going with this process. Hopefully there is an end in sight. But relatively speaking, all the symptoms of vertigo are not so bad.
Then we wrapped up the night at home with an important, fierce, family conversation. Janell and I needed to have a very serious, emotionally draining conversation with one of the kids. I am spent.
During the whole conversation I was having flashbacks to a family vacation several years ago. Our kids were about age 6, 4, and 2, maybe a few months younger. We were at Sea World in San Diego and while playing with the kids in the children’s section I got delayed trying to get our youngest off of a large rope ladder that climbed to a slide. In the several minutes it took to get to the top, the oldest two had already disappeared down the slide. When I finally got down they were nowhere to be found. I ran around in a panic unsuccessfully trying to find them. Almost an hour later I finally found them sitting in a completely different section of the park. Without question, it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I also thought about times in the past where people I was very close to made the painful choice of moving out of their homes before they were “ready.” Broken and strained relationships with parents left the illusion of no other options.
Sitting around our kitchen table having this important conversation and recalling all these memories it occurred to me that there is no good way to lose a child. Whether lost in a large crowd in a strange city, or lost through personal choices to leave broken relationships, or lost to the finality of untimely death, the bond between parents and children are not meant to be senselessly broken. Then it hit me that so much of this is completely out of our control. The best we can do is enjoy the time we have and treat it every second as a gift. And there are times that there is no better thing to do than have a fierce, emotionally draining conversation around a kitchen table.
For what its worth, things ended well and I think everyone gained from the experience. And if I had to choose between vestibular migraines or hurting one of my kids, I would take the migraines every single time. So as I said, relatively speaking, the vertigo is not so bad.
I am once again fighting the battle with vertigo. Yesterday I was on the losing end. I had to have a coworker drive me home. Then I got sick, threw up, and stayed in bed most the rest of the day.
Today I am going to try to get in to the doctor and go pick up my car from work before the snow comes in.
Walter Brueggemann is going to be at an event that has portions free and open to the public. I am already making plans to go and would love to see some other Colorado Emergent Village Cohort people make it to the Friday night event (May 2).
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Highlights 
I need to review.
